2002-03-28 - 2:57 p.m.
The title is spanish for "holy week".
Today is Maundy Thursday. When I woke up, I just felt this great wave of guilt rush through me. I haven't heard mass, and lately, I've been raising doubts about my faith.
There was a time in my life, it was just before I migrated, when I was so in touch with my faith. Talking and praying to God was a MUST for me, otherwise, I wouldn't have been able to sleep. Those were the times when I felt like I had inner peace. I know I was younger then, hence there were less problems. Some things bothered me of course, but I felt very much whole and truly safe.
Let's just say that I feel like I haven't had a relationship with God the past few weeks, or even months. Ash Wednesday came and went, I didn't even know it. It seems like I've been too caught up with my own life, the problems and trials, that I haven't really made time for HIM. I just feel so selfish!
You see, I'm writing about this because even though I haven't been religious lately, it's still something that remains in the back of my head, like a nagging feeling. I used to think and believe that this material world, no matter how real, can fail me and let me down so easily. Yet as long as I have my faith in God, I know that I'll be ok. I don't really know when or why I stopped thinking that way. Now I feel like something VERY important is amiss in my life.
Tomorrow is Good Friday, the day when Jesus died and demonstrated the full extent of his love for mankind. Maybe I'll just spend most of my day tomorrow doing self-reflection to rekindle my waning faith. Yes, I think I'd like that lots.
